July 24th, 2003
You mean I have to _wait_?!?
Why can’t one experience everything at once, or at least lots of little things? Right now I’d give my week’s ice cream money to have a cold, wet, autumn evening. To be precise…
It rained roughly 80 minutes ago, there is a sharp breeze that comes in gusts from the northwest every couple seconds. I’m standing in a parking lot of my high school or a closed mall, or something at 11:43pm with tennis shoes….yea, Converse low tops. My ‘bowling shoe’ set would work. And I can drag my foot back and forth across the asphalt and feel the soddy gravel and maybe a couple wet leaves. There’s one of those obnoxiously bright fluorescents about 20 feet away, and I’m partially in the shadows. The pores on my skin are open from the humidity and I have just the slightest amount of goose flesh on the back of my neck, partially because of the wind and partially because of a red-haired, starry-eyed girl in a gap sweater that smells like CK-1. Can’t I just taste that for once when I want to?
I’m tired. I want to sleep. I also at this moment want to:
a) write this blog
b) draw a picture of a girl
c) make up some crazy sad melody on a keyboard
d) lay in damp grass
e) drink ice cold Jim Beam and coke
f) listen to jazz music
g) ride a bicycle through a corn field in winter
but I’m tired. And I left work early today (8:00p) so I could get sleep and wake up and kick ass on 10 million things tomorrow like a 1980s movie lead.
But there’s too much _life_ in me to sleep, or do any one of those things, so I’ll just be slighted frustrated and probably lay in bed half-thinking about some willowy angel with freckles and field trips to the apple cider mill.
Anyone have need for a deep personal connection with someone who dreams way too hard?
