June 30th, 2004
108852861898878105
Differences in perspective
I had an “American style” party last weekend to commemorate my living in Japan for one year. Although I put considerable time and planning into it, as I suspected it didn’t really play out anything like I initially wanted it to. So I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t put any more effort into getting it set up. It was still fun though. Here’s a little compare/contrast as to what I was expecting and what actually transpired:
What I planned:
beer pong (fast and drunk) *
flip cup (faster and drunker) *
a pinata *
drinking game to Animal House *
beer, pretzels and plastic cups *
lots of drunk, noisy people *
What happened:
beer pong (friendly, slow, people-based beer pong) *
people barely paying attention to the movie *
beer, delicious food, sixteen year old port, and usage of virtually every dish I own *
not really anyone drunk and noisy, except maybe me *
I think there is one key difference which caused things to play out as they did, and that is whereas (many) American college-age people drink to get drunk and feel stupid, Japanese drink just because they like the taste of beer and the social interaction. Most everyone actually takes care to make sure they don’t get drunk at all, looking after the dosages of liquor for themselves and others. Maybe this is why alcohol causes so many problems in the US, yet in Japan there are very few intoxicant-related troubles.
Lots of my North American friends here celebrate the fact that there are no open container laws in Japan whatsoever. It’s quite refreshing (and empowering) to sip/chug/slam a half-litre can of beer on the train on the way home from work, or even while walking down the street at eight am. Anyway, I think my point is there is something fundamentally different on how Japanese and Americans view alcohol, and it’s probably worth thinking about seriously. My Japanese friend’s children like beer because they have fun putting their fingers in the foam, or pouring for their parents, not because drinking is something enticing as wrong or rebellious.
So, we played beer pong but it wasn’t about cutthroat antics or really any competition. People just had fun because it was a simple game with mild team interaction in blocking shots. While I instinctively pounded my share of cups as soon as I got a hold of them, others sipped and enjoyed the drinks as merely a detail of the game, not the main focus. The game went on for a long while and afterwards everyone was (rightfully so) interested in the expansive feast Mikiko made instead of diving into flip cup. I kind of dropped the whole drinking game aspect of Animal House completely; I realized it would probably draw some criticism and wonder from my guests, let alone not being any fun at all.
So I guess I had a good time, but I felt kind of guilty afterwards: guilty for my initial intentions, and then guilty for how my blind charging into drinking alienated me socially from everyone else halfway through the night. This doubly hurts because I know I failed as an attentive host, which is my prime motivation for ever having parties in the first place. In college I always used to play by the philosophy “take care of everyone and get them safely drunk if they wish” until about one or two, whereupon my jacket and tie came off and I did some serious catching up, having since handed the reins to one of my housemates.
I know better next time on what people here are more likely to enjoy and appreciate, but I still feel kind of bad for the deep-rooted desire to have one of my old, fabled Dionysian odysseys.
