February 21st, 2005
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Happoshu and high-fiving Buddha
I used to silently mock friends of mine who made a big deal about getting curtains that matched their carpet, or what percentage of their furniture was Ikea.
Those in glass houses…
The only reason today was awesome was because I found a six-pack of Draft One (the cheapest mass market domestic beer-like* substance you can buy in Japan) for 898 yen, (about nine bucks) at Lucky. (Or was it Life?) I say domestic because it’s true that you can still get tepid Schlitz by the case at the less reputable “discount grocers”. I think I saw a dog go blind though after I poured a can over some weeds I was trying to kill.
Anyway, yes. My life is officially pathetic. The only solace I can derive from missing my (10:46 p.m.) train home and losing my tofu (really…I don’t know where it is), is staggering into Life (Lucky?) in between train changes, arms full of 92 yen quasi-paper towels, and getting a cold, poorly packaged box of tasteless ale to rub my back and tell me good job today. Err, wait, Minnie is supposed to do that.
Draft One, the revolutionary beverage that inspired the “Naze sonna yasui?” ad campaign on trains all over Tokyo. This roughly translates to “Why is it so cheap?!”
Here we see the good (Draft One), the bad (very bad Sung Hi Lee on the laptop), and the ugly (my Vodafone bill). Oh what ever would I have done? Only a week until the end of the month and I hadn’t seen my forty-dollar charge for not making any phone calls. Phew. Don’t scare me like that guys.
Yes, just about the only good thing about living alone and having zero chance of a girl coming to your house is that you can put pictures of half-naked chicks up on your computer and no one will ever complain (except your mother if you point the webcam in the wrong direction).
I wish I had the time and energy to go into more detail, but suffice it to say Kung Fu Hustle rocks. Stephen Chow will soon be added to my Friendster list of people I’d like to meet (along with Harrison Ford, Sandra Bullock, and the toilet duck), because he has just an indelible knack for wicked comedy. The movie (which you continental Americans will have to wait a couple months to see), is much in the vein of The God of Cookery, or Shaolin Soccer– as Phil would say, ridonkulous. I don’t think it’s as funny as Shaolin Soccer (don’t run away!), but then again, the subtitles were in Japanese this time, not incredibly bad Hong Kong pirate English. I understood almost everything though (which speaks well for either me or Mr. Chow; probably the latter), so it wasn’t a problem. I can’t get over how awesome a blend of action and inane buffoonery it was. Let me put it this way, no…wait! If I tell you, you’ll probably hate me for spoiling the surprise. Curses. But…
HIGH-FIVING BUDDHA!?
*Draft One is actually, happoshu, not beer. Yes, it tastes like beer (sort of), and yes it has alcoholic content (5% mind you), but it’s NOT beer. Example:
Me: Yusei, you want wine or beer?
Yusei: Uh, beer right now.
Me: (hands a beer)
Yusei: (opens and drinks)
Me: (chugggurggurgg)
Yusei: Ah, that’s pretty good.
Me: Yeah, I like it. It’s cheap.
Yusei: Yeah, it’s decent for…(reading label)…What the fuck?! Is this happoshu? Oh my god, this stuff is nasty!! (violently puts down the can)
Me: What? What?
Yusei: I can’t believe you gave me happoshu! I can’t drink that shit, it’s so wrong.
Me: Well, do you want some whiskey or something then?
Yusei: Nah, I’ll finish this.
Me: (puts down empty can) I’m going to the fridge to get another. You want anything?
Yusei: Yeah, grab me one.
