December 8th, 2005
113681556863302846
Tifa’s Theme
Do you remember me? Of course you do. We spent so many nights together, looking up at the stars. Our dreams were so big back then and it seemed that the world was so grand, spread out before us. All those times that we faced down adversity, it was bold and important then, now it’s just a fond memory to replay on idle Sunday afternoons. Am I holding myself back, not progressing by keeping you on my mind? Would I be better off looking for others, or maybe just by myself? How can I really live only embalmed in warmth, wrapping myself in the sense of wonder and the light in your eyes? It’s a womb and a hospital, and a church. All places safe and warm with you.
Who knows what they want? What if you want everything, kind of? There was a time when I was sure of how I felt, and what I wanted. Or at least I like to think that I did. What the hell is it about adolescence that makes everything so simple? Ignorance. That may be the cynical answer, but it’s the right answer. The more you know and the more you experience the harder it is to have absolutes in life. Everything is dirty white and grey, with very few exceptions. So what am I supposed to do? I didn’t make any singular decisions in college; I just started moving faster and faster, burning through more and more people, companies, and locations. And what do I have now? [�cwhat indeed, do I have now?]
