Kind of Blue

Menthol cigarettes, chianti reserva, Miles Davis and sandalwood.

Sometimes life slows down, whether you really want it to or not. Maybe because you need it to. Maybe because that’s all you can take.

I rode my bicycle home, slowly, and took a shower. I rinsed out the cans in the sink and put on an undershirt. I slouched down into the sofa and got my deal handed to me straight by a Chinese girl. I’m attractive between my forehead and my mouth. I’m quiet.

I sat down at my desk and thought about modality, I sat down at my desk and thought about ego.

Why don’t I get a girlfriend? I cook sometimes, with spices. In China big televisions are cheap, but in Japan life is good. Work is good, the city is good. Lots of things are good.

The scales are blue and in a ten-measure cycle. My life is blue and in some kind of cycle.

Life is kind of blue.

Bad

Bad

考えています。言うまではあまり考えなかった。もっと正確に言えば、考えたくなかった。三十年この世に暮らして、意外と苦しみがそらせるように上手くなりました。最初から無意識に僕は愛するべきの気持ちを消しました。苦しみをそらすように。

でも自分の心から苦しみをそらすため、どこっかで、他の所へ流すのが必要だった。それが悪かった。最初から悪かった。僕への慈悲の気持ちが要るけど、自分の心がシェアできない。だから最悪のことした。大切な人の心に対する無頓着でした。

無頓着。最悪だった。

考えています。もっと考えたほうがいいけど。

何を感じたらいい?感じたい。

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping

The Year We Make Contact

So it’s 2010. In the end of December I went to Seattle on business and then a week later had my first live musical performance in roughly twenty years, and then a week later I went to Berlin and Amsterdam for my third European excursion. I have fifty pages of notes in my Kellogg’s journal, as well as seven rolls of film, but for that you’re just going to have to wait a little. In the meantime here are my new year resolutions.

The tangible:
1) I will have at least two photo exhibitions this year, one of which will be at a private showing
2) I will produce at least one EP length album of entirely new music produced

The intangible:
I will be more at peace with my decisions in life, both personal and professional, and towards this more honest with myself and others. To thine own self be true.