The greatest passion is the unthinking. There is no doubt, no questioning, no measurement of the fervor. An unseen force grips the heart and spurs the body into action. I am consumed of late by a subtle form of madness. I come home from the office as always around ten and immediately set to work. Scanning film, adjusting levels, printing proofs, tweaking text. I scour the internet for resources on technique, reference media, and self-promotion. The whirlwind around my fingers does not stop until well past three in the morning, when I collapse in a pile upon the last vacant spot in my upturned room.

For two weeks I have continued like this, my every idle second spent on combing the deep recesses of my mind for forgotten tasks.

So buried in photography have I become that I can’t even remember actively what I’m doing.

Exhausted. After one more darkroom marathon session and class I must crash…

個展 Take two



11月29日-12月5日@PLACE M新宿御苑前


友達の 輝きと、歩んできた道の土からどれくらい色を吸収したの?

影と光、 真冬の寒さと恋人の胸の温もり。すべての響きと刺激、言葉と感情、それらは生き方と愛し方を教えてくれた。
そして、その経験を全部目を通して知った。目であなたの笑いと涙を見た。そして、お互いがどんなに大切な存在であるかという深い絆を知った。 これは僕らに対する僕らの感情と共に経験した場所の記録だ。


The sound of rain is comforting. The movement of fire is transfixing. The warmth of a blanket in autumn is soothing. We are best not to be misled by the five senses, but we are not meant to refute all comfort in this life, are we?

I am lucky. No, maybe that’s not the right word. it is good to have dear people to share things with. Giving thanks is important for many reasons. It keeps our soul supple. It helps foster compassion and charity; I think. I learned these words twenty years ago, but I didn’t understand them. But I think I felt I understood them to a degree. Maybe now the extent I think I understand them is misplaced as well. Experience does that, deepen your understanding of words. Until we die perhaps we will always be deepening our understanding. There comes a point where you can’t dissect the motivation behind an action discretely anymore. You’ve lived too much to break it down into a few fundamental components. So ultimately I guess we all just have to do what we feel is right, and trust our instincts, which more and more are fueled by the endless crevices of our mind.

A good person is truly good when is kind and generous during unsatisfactory conditions.

How much of having children is selfless?

Rewind, restart, rethink




Climb, remorse, and penance

Gentenkaiki, autumn 2006.



The end of my new beginning

And so the wheel turns. I tried my best, I spoke from the heart, I gave it my all.


If you speak from the heart, you can’t go wrong. But, it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. でも、よくあるね。そういうもん。

Thank you Buddha for my friends.

Thank you for loving the imperfect me.

Volumetric hair

I woke up again inexplicably at five a.m., and deeming it too early went back to bed. I missed the sweet spot around seven-thirty and woke up at nine, but I had a dream that had me whistling on the way to work.

I wore my pink and grey striped three-quarter sleeve under my reversible vintage down vest, blue nylon-side out. It felt _fantastic_.

I left the work of multi-threaded allocators at nine and swung by Yodobashi on the way home to undo the damage I’d done the night before. I returned the Fuji Rembrandt fibre stock for some Ilford RC pearl coat. It’s not quite as vibrant and textured as the Gekko stock I used for the Enoshima show but it should be more in my range for darkroom experience.

I’ve torn a couple drawers apart exposing the complete lack of organization the last three years’ film stock has been subjected to, but it needed to happen sooner or later. Going to the darkroom tomorrow has just given me the kick I needed to get down to brass tacks. Saturday I’ll probably pick up a couple more Hakuba albums and get it all in order at once, chronologically and labelled as God and Phillip Greenspun intended.

Anyway now I have my material sorted and about thirteen shots or so to try out with the new medium tomorrow. And then on Saturday evening I’m off to hit up Gentenkaiki for a long, hippie rave of a three-day weekend.

Tour de force or folly?



今回の一番難しいのは技術の課題かもしれません。モノクロ写真は自分で手焼きします。久しぶりの暗室セッションは金曜日ですので、今日帰り道で紙を買いました。GA…ギリギリ閉店だったので、急いで間違えてバライタ印画紙を買ってしまった。それで明日こういう風に進むか、返品してRCを買いなおす。困ったなぁ。(_ _~);