A quick retreat

As usual, I finished the party strong, but started my sprint a little too late. Last night I spent a good amount of time analyzing recurring patterns in my ability to apply myself to things I deeply love, at least to my standard. So I went to sleep around ten, troubled, and cold. I stayed in the sack until five, three hours before the end of music. But oh what a three hours. Shoot shake shudder and sway. I shared my bottle of Kaga wine and found my groove in front of the speakers for sets from Son Kite and Dai/Yusa. It was a good time and I got to make some more friends before I left. On the way out to hitch back I ran into a guy who apparently had heard my story and offered to give me a lift all the way to the station. He even treated me to an oversized hamburg steak and rice at Coco’s.

So I found myself on a timely departing rapid service train for Maibara a little drunk and dizzy. But I got a seat with an outlet so I could charge my iPod and listen to Chub Du and R.E.M. all the way home.

Recently I’ve been yearning for change. For what I view is elevation of status via earthly goods. This concerns me, for the longest time I wore the same clothes, paid the same rent, did the same kind of travelling for the first seven years I was here. It was essentially an extension of college based living standards-wise. I had student loans and a salary less than what I made as an intern during school, these were acceptable compromises since I had to my mind such a big win in living here. Now the dogma of my elders beings to fill my ears. Time is the most valuable thing you can buy. Eat well. Wear nice clothes that suit you. I’ve got stupid ideas in my head like a darkroom. Damn I will make my own axiom that the tech does not make the artist, because no tool can hide a less than complete understanding of a medium’s essential principles.

Would an office help me concentrate? That’s probably what I’m hoping for most because I’m smart enough to know that willpower can get me through virtually any obstacles even with strikes against me. It got me into Carnegie Mellon, and it got me into Japan. I guess maybe my biggest problem now is just that. I need a clean and worthy goal.