時間を掛けたら、全部のものが腐敗。愛のもの、情熱のもの、ちょったした美しいもの。

心酔したものの一つが腐敗してる。心酔したの一つは成熟してる。

最初から気に抜けた僕はどう信じたらよい分からなくなった。

I need to grow. But I am growing, or…

Plants grow, or they die. If they don’t receive the nutrition and care to sustain life, they die. But if they do, they grow. How they grow depends on a number of factors, some of which may be attributable to chaos theory and randomization, but more or less if you give plants a certain kind of environment to grow in, they grow a certain kind of way.

So I eat food, sleep, and move about. Life is sustained so I grow. Do I grow well? That’s another issue.

I think I am growing differently these last few months, and I think this is a good thing. It’s painful, but I think it’s more honest and truthful. Honest to myself more than anything I suppose. I wish it would hurry along, bringing all of the love, peace, and fulfillment that my stirs in my heart. But maybe it won’t be, or maybe it will be, but not for weeks, months, or years. I just don’t know. There’s so much that doesn’t make sense now.

But when a tree is cut, and its trunk is bent another way, things will always be unbalanced at first. So that’s what I have to find, balance. But balance takes time. So for now I focus on my ideal, and I pray.

今日また家の中が暑いです。額には玉の汗が吹きだしてきました。疲れが溜まって筋肉がいたぎもちいい。

準備は全部土日とためでしたので、今日予定なにも入れていない。珍しいけどちょっと幸せ。これから久しぶりちゃりをぶらぶら乗って、芝大神宮のだらだら例祭に行きます。生姜をかって、人生に感謝します。

天気に感謝。いたぎもちいい筋肉痛に感謝。友達に感謝。

とても長い間に頭を使って、技能と腕で世界を制覇できると思った。けど徐々に別のことが重要のは気づいていた。

Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

There’s something I was supposed to do today… lots of things, actually. But for the life of me I can’t remember any of them. I am alive, very much so, but exhausted to my core and rind. There is an effervescent haze that encircles my every thought like a Shanghai summer, coughing up black.

Tomorrow I leave for Thailand, fulfilling my two international trips a year quota early. I want to be quiet and peaceful, I want to say little and listen much, I want to walk through ruins that look like the set of Ico and have ages’ old Buddhism seep into my subway-texting deadened pores and give me some kind of vibrance deeper than I can extract from any brown, small caffeine-laced bottle.

Oh the road so far out it doesn’t even make sense from a map or my mind. The texture of stone.

この24時間はどうしてのか空前な写真家として充実な一日でした。昨日PLACE Mのワークショップに写真を見せずに90分の他の人の写真をじっくり分析した。他の素人をみると、自分がどこで前に間違えたのか振り替えて、まだ間違えてるところを洗い出す。目が覚めた。

昨夜遅くまで誕生日会で、午後までゆっくりして、SHANEを視て分析した。監督の精選はなぜそういう風にした。なるほど。

午後からMASUO亭の写真を撮るのが依頼されて、店の魅力を表現するために5Dと露出的にアンダーの環境で挑戦した。それ後夜with triangleの伊藤さんと出版業界について下北のFREE FACTORYに話し合いました。

紹介してくれたり、熱心が移ったり、レベルアップさせたり．．．

感謝。

感激。

Time moves on whether you like it or not. Suns rise and set, the days go by and you do your best living. There is progress whether you choose to be conscious of it or not. Perhaps it’s the simple idea of things progressing naturally that’s reassuring. As humans we are inclined to feel a need for control, that we can stop the car whenever we want. But there’s a special peace of mind that comes from the expected, even if it’s out of our control. The plants will grow, the birds will sing, and time will go on, giving us an infinite array of moments to experience, savor, and smile upon.

I have big plans, and sometimes when they don’t go how I envision them it bothers me. But as time goes by things not going as you plan comes to have it’s own appeal. You’d think that as experience grows you would become jaded and accustomed to the world. But it’s not like that. You can be surprised every day of your life if you just give yourself the chance. I’m enjoying it.

People come and go, meeting only for a moment or joining hands for the rest of their lives. And all of them are special, unique, and to be treasured. From the girl you catch a smile from on a crowded train to family member who will be with you until the end. In the world there is so much chaos and unpredictability, but that’s not a challenge, it’s a blessing.

Tickles.

The weather has been flip-flopping the past week, spring to winter. Tomorrow are forecasts of snow. I’ve caught a cold. The website’s database server has been misbehaving (it’s miracle if you’re still around to see this). Work is bearing down on me. I’m woefully behind schedule for all of my big three projects for the year.

Things could be better.

But then again, things could be much, much, worse.

So, we do what we can. We do our very best to apply time management techniques to our time, and strive to make life better in at least one way, for ourselves and for others. Every day.

Tip: Start in ProPhoto, deliver in AdobeRGB.

I bought a new Canon 50mm USM lens for the 5D. The zoom that came with the kit was always limiting at f/4, so this prime should hold its own in handheld, low-light situations. Just in time for the company Christmas party!

I am back. For those who were out of the loop I was in Austria and Italy for a week. I have something to the order of 20 blog entries and 600+ shots from the trip. It will take me honestly weeks to get through them all, so please be patient. Right now I have to spend the next 144 hours at least focusing on Design Festa 28, which is this weekend. I am in complete ordered chaos as nothing is done, but somehow I will assemble a show with unique and original content. In the meantime, enjoy this corny picture of St. Mark’s Square and keep your eye on the blog.

Ciao.